Katrina

I am feeling survivor guilt. I hate this, but at least I know what it is this time and I do not feel so out of control. Katrina did not even come remotely close to even threatening us, but I guess whating the news and feeling so sorry for all those people without homes, jobs, basic needs for survival, it is just so sad.
With the wildfires in San Diego, I had dropped Erik off at 11pm the night before he was going out on work ups for 4 weeks. I went home and was woke up by people pounding on my neighbors door at 5am. A couple of us went outside the people who were pounding told us that they were evacuated from Lakside (about 40 min from where I lived) by a wildfire. They were woke up by the police and told to get out in 10 min. The sky was the strangest color I have ever seen and I hope to never see that again. You could see ash and soot. I started my day like there was nothing going on. I refuse to watch the news so my friend called and said the fires are coming towards us. Yes in about 5 hours the fires had traveled about 30 miles. I went down to her house and her husband and I went to the top of the caynon (which was across the street) and we could see the fires they were only about 3 miles away. I decided to run home and get the dogs and then we decided we would probably evacuate. We had time but I was alone and had to worry about Monkey and Apple Juice (Chubs wasn't even thought of yet) and my dogs. I ran into my house and 1 of my neighbors ran in and asked if I had our birth certificates and other papers. I hadn't even thought of that. I grabbed enough clothes for 2 days and our paperwork on the way out the door I grabbed the girls baby pics. We left. We drove out to the mall parking lot and from there decided to go to NAB (where the US Seals are trained) to hopefully get some shelter. We got down there and the lady gave us crap for having dogs and I nearly bit her head off. I told oh okay let me take them back so they can burn up then you can feel good about yourself.
Once I had shelter I called my family but then it dawned on me that I had no charger for my phone. So I told them I was only going to turn it on to use it. Then I realized I could not get ahold of Erik. Once Erik realized what was going on he tried the cell and did not get an answer so then he called my parents realizing that they would know where I was. He left a voicemail so I knew he knew where we were. Then the news that was all we did was watched the news and prayed. The winds turned right after we left but if they wouldn't have our house would have been gone. All you could do was sit there and obsess over what you could have grabbed and what to do if the house was gone.
2 days later when we could return to the house I had forgotten to close the windows so my house was full of ash and soot. My pumpkins had melted and rotted so the house stunk (it was 3 days before Halloween). Then they decided to let the ship come back in port for 48 hours. So after I had cleaned the house and done everything myself, I had to go get Erik . He came home and slept for about 30 of the 48 hours, then he left and missed Halloween anyway. I was angry, lost, upset, I was still depressed from a miscarrage I had suffered 4 months earlier. All I did was obsess over the people who lost everything and how guilty I was that we were fine. It was a very sad very dark time in my life. It took me about 2 months to finally get over it all. I also needed some anti-anxiety meds. I do not think that I am that bad this time but I am having trouble sleeping and focusing on the task on hand.
Fortunately Mikaela has an appointment this evening so I am going to make one for myself so I can talk to Ira. I am breastfeeding and I refuse to take any meds right now but I can talk. Ira is a hyponotist so maybe that will help this time.
Oh well I gotta go life goes on and kids need to get ready for school...

School AHHHH....

So my weekend was good. Saturday we took a family trip to Wal-mart to get some stuff for Flyboy and Monkey to finish their Titanic model they are working on. Chubs is cutting teeth and ended up not being happy, but that was better because I pushed us out of the store before we could get into too much trouble!!
Sunday we had a b-day party so we took a family trip to Super Target to get a present. Well Starbucks was handing out samples of their passion fruit tea lemonaide. Well smart me said I will try a sip because I am sure my allergy is not that bad. Well before I even got out to the car my lips were swelling and I was having an asthma attack. I got in the car and Erik took me right to the ER (thank God we were next to the base). He dropped me off and I ran in and told them I needed an Epi pen NOW. The nurse looked at me then a corpsman realized what I said and pulled me into a room and gave me the pen. They actually repremanded the corpsman. Oh well I got the Doc to refill my script so I have 2 epi pens now. So much for a sip. Well I walked home and slept all day so then last night I couldn't sleep. 7am comes fast when you do not sleep well. Somehow I got the kids out the door and then got myself ready for school. I checked into my online courses and got all those assignments done. Then I packed up and went downtown for my Calc II class. I was really nervous but the instructor is AWESOME!! I talked to him for about 20 min after class and he just seems so laid back that I am sure this is not going to be as bad as I thought.
Well now I have to write my letter to try and appeal my financial aid. I have too many credit hours due to having to transfer way too many times. Hopefully they will help me out otherwise it is no biggie Navy Relief is doing a 0% loan so I am paying it off slowly right now.
I guess I better go help Flyboy with dinner he keeps looking over at me and asking how to make mashed potatoes. This from the man who usually does all the cooking. Oh well

I do not know what to feel

So I am not sure if I should be happy or not. Chubs finally got over the cold she had now she is cutting 2 teeth which will bring her grand total to 8!! I am getting sick of getting bit. She also took 7 steps yesterday!! Following in her sisters footsteps she is walking at 9 months 2 weeks. And she slept in her own bed all night 2 nights in a row! I finally am making her go to sleep on her own so she cries for about 5 minutes and then is out. I am so sad to see my last baby get so big, they grow up too fast. But on the same note it is amazing to see them learn to walk and talk. She definately knows MAMA and DADA now, she will look between the two of us and say our names! It is just sad to see my last and only planned baby getting so big, but at least I still have early morning nurse and snuggle time. I love that time before anyone else is up she comes into bed with us and I nurse and snuggle. I still snuggle the big ones but it is not the same as a baby. :)

On a funny note, yesterday at dinner we were talking about hurricane Katrina. My brother's idiot girlfriends name is Katrina so Monkey was saying how she couldn't believe that they named a hurricane after her. Flyboy and I told her it wasn't after her, so Monkey thought about it and said well if I have a baby girl I think I will name her Katrina. So I said I thought you weren't going to have any babies (she got freaked out when she saw one of these baby story shows). She replied I said IF. So Apple Juice interjects with I want a baby and I want to be grown. I pulled her into my lap and said No you want to be my little girl forever and she crawled off my lap and said No and gave me a look to kill.

So my oldest wants to live at home forever and the other two are growing up too fast!! Well I am off to have a depressing day, no I will make the best of it. Supermom and I are going to take the triplets and Chubs to this waterpark downtown then tonight she and I are going out!! She deserves it, me I have been partying a lot on the weekends, but hey would can say no to being away from hubbys and kids!! I am broke so it is whatever we can do for $5 that I am borrowing from Monkey. I get paid today so I will go and get her money after I take them to school.
Well off to start my morning...

I am doing it again

So right now I should be folding laudry and getting the kids up and instead I am worrying about stuff I have no control over. I hate when I do this. I am obsessing over school next semester I do not even know if I will get into UNF next semester, but yet I am trying to figure out how I am going to take my classes and what I am going to do with the kids. The schedule for Spring is not out and will not be out until November!!! Also with the plan I am attempting I am planning I will have to take Physics next summer. My sister is getting married next summer so I do not think that summer school will be an option. We are already going to pay for Erik to fly to MI for a weekend in October for his best friend since 2nd grade's wedding we have to because he is in school and cannot take leave. I am not going to spend $300 for me to go back to 3 days. All this stuff is so far off, yet Chubs is on the floor dumping her kix and her and the kitten are playing in it and I could care less yet I am stressed over other things I do not get it.
Well I better go pretend to be responsible and get my kiddos ready for school!!

I wish I could keep up...

So Sunday was a boring day, but much needed. Chubs was not feeling great so Flyboy and I took turns trying to make her feel better. Monkey and Apple Juice played together nicely all day it was pretty amazing!! Yesterday was Monday and Mondays are ick. Chubs and I hung out then went and got everyone from school. I did mow the lawn with Chubs on my back for my workout last night and then I did 45 min of Yoga today, go me. I know it will be weeks before I do anything again! :)
I did a "map" of what classes I need to take and I have 5 semesters of full-tim school before I do student teaching. It seems so far away yet Chubs will be 3 when I finally graduate. I feel bad that I do not have the desire to be a stay-at-home mom. I love my kids and I love being with them, but I am ready to have my own life outside of theirs. I am also sick of living paycheck to paycheck. I would love to have savings and a nice home for my family and we cannot afford what I want on just Flyboy's paycheck.
Now I am off to go get everyone from school again!!

This is it

So I will start at the beginning. I have wanted a blog for forever and I thank you blue for showing me how to set this up!!
For everyone who does not know my story. I grew up in Detroit and am 7th child of 8 kids in my crazy family!! My family belongs on the Jerry Springer show and I love them dearly but am glad to be away from that drama.
I met my husband when I was 13 and he was 14 in Marching Band. He and I were the best of friends for about 7 months before we started dating. Lo and behold about 9 months after we started dating we found out I was preggo with Monkey. I was 15 and he was 16. I had her 1 month after my 16th bday. Well we finished high school and were going on with life, we dated other people but always ended up back together. He started college and bombed out of that so he decided to join the Navy!! After he joined we decided we really did want to be together forever so we got married at his 1 year mark in the navy. We were both 20 at this point and felt a little more grown up. So right after we got married I moved to San Diego to live with Flyboy. We started trying to get preggo right away which ended up in a miscarrage but I concieved Apple Juice 10 days after I miscarried. Everything was great for a while then he left for his first deployment which ended up being 10 months long. I orginally did not want a third child but we decided to try again when he got home. Deployments make you do weird things!! This once again ended in a miscarrage. I really wanted to prove I could have another child but we just were not getting pregnant so he made an appointment to start the process for getting a vasectomy and boom we were pregnant with Chubs. Then a week later we find out that we are probably moving to Florida, then he leaves for a 5 month deployment only to get home 10 days before Chubs makes her grand entrance to the world!! 2 months after Chubs was born we move here to Florida which it is cool to be back on this side of the country, but I miss California some days. I do like being closer to family but with gas being as high as it is I can still barely afford to go visit anyone!!
I have no idea how well I will keep up on this probably better than I feel I will, but I am going back to school full time this semester. Afterall my hubby does call me a professional student!! I have 130 credit hours and cannot turn it into a degree. I have decided to go back to my orginal major of Chemistry and become a teacher. Flyboy was just given orders to stay here so we will be in Florida for at least a few more years!!