So as if I wasn't already convinced...

But now I am down right positive it is a girl. This baby has been nothing but a pain. I thought it was an ecptopic pregnancy in the beginning but no it was just an abnormally large cyst on the ovary that slowly has gone down but is still there. Then just all the normal symptoms, but a little bit worse then I remember. Last appointment the baby barely wanted to stay still. So today after being late for my appointment because the pretend cops on base had to pull me over and say I blew off 2 stop signs. I KNOW I at least yielded oh well. The doc was 45 min late to see me anyhow. After the normal stuff and finding out my labs are normal, yeah. The doc tried to find the heartbeat with the Doppler and couldn't, I have been so worried because I haven't put on any weight I don't feel or look pregnant so I am thinking the worse. I almost started crying I was so scared something was wrong. So the doc grabbed the ultrasound and said well let's just find out what's up. The first thing I see is my little baby punching! The doc had to look for about 2 minutes before we could see the heart then they would not stay still so the doc could actually record it! So I still have no idea what the baby's heartrate is, just that it is a little active bugger who does not want to cooperate!! I am guessing I will have to be surprised with the sex of this one because if we can't see the heart I am positive we will not see the genitals!! I am so gonna have 4 girls and will end up in the institution before I am 40!! You all will come visit right?

On another note my kids had me laughing so hard last night. I didn't get out of my pj's yesterday until I took a bath at 7pm! I took 3 15 minute naps and Monkey made everyone lunch and put Chubs down for her nap. It was nice, but I was just in holy hell bitch mode so I just kept trying to avoid my kids I really don't enjoy being mean. Well when I started dinner Chubs got into the fridge and dumped frozen veggies everywhere. Then Apple Juice started to cry because I wouldn't make her a kid cuisine. So I snapped at her. I started to apologize to the girls and tell them this is why mommy hates being preggo. Well Apple Juice pipes up with you were like this before you were pregnant. I said "Like what?" and she said "mad at us" and I could see Monkey trying to not make eye contact with her or I. I couldn't help but laugh. There goes my mom of the year award and I was actually trying for it this year!!

Eek...

So I took on all of Supermom's kiddoes and my own this afternoon. I have a rental since my 'rents have my van down in Ft Meyers (long story short, my dad has no credit cards so he can't rent so I rented a car (with his money!!) and I let him borrow mine). I have a Kia Spectra so I couldn't take the kiddoes back to my house so I watched them there. I cleaned or should I say attempted to clean her house while I was there. It is insane to try and tidy with 3 2.5 year olds and a 14 month old trashing the house! All I gotta say is Supermom you're A-mazing!! Her home is not filthy but lived in so I was just catching up the chores she had started the sweeping and vacuuming. I got it all done and tidied the triplets room, by then I was frustrated and took them all back outside. The boys have monster truck power wheels and I made the mistake of putting the battery in the second one I see now why she only allows one running at a time. They took off in separate directions and I was running from one to the other and getting them unstuck and keeping an eye on the ones not riding. Oh man, that didn't last long luckily it was starting to get dark so I could get them in. Finally we go in and I make the kids mac and cheese and corn. They were all good and watched tv while I made it. Then someone was crying throughout all of dinner. Supermom walks through the door and starts her dinner and one of the boys is crying at her feet so I get the triplets and Chubs into the bath, yes somehow we fit 4 kiddoes in the tub. Finally the bath fiasco is over and I get my kiddoes ready and drag my butt out the door I was not in a rush to get home to an empty house. Okay it isn't empty, but my furbabies really don't count!! :o)
I am dreading Flyboys deployment I do this everytime I fret and moan for the 6 months before and then the whole time he is gone it really isn't that bad. As awful as it sounds I kinda prefer him not here, I am able to sink my wholeself into my kids and me and not have to worry about playing the wife role. I love my husband and I love my *bedroom* life, but the whole making sure that I have enough energy for him at the end of the day just gets to me. He is my best friend and I make time for him I guess I really cannot explain it. Just when he is gone I feel like a stronger person and a better mom I guess because I have to play both roles and I am comfortable with that. Plus Monkey is so much easier to deal with when she doesn't have the other person here to 'test'. I lay down the law and stick to it, Flyboy SUCKS at the sticking to it part! Well only 5 more days till I get to hear his voice again and I am feeling a little guilty that I am sleeping in a warm soft bed and he is sleeping in the snow. But only a little guilty!! :-P

Hormones

I am finally not so tired but I am sick of being hormonal. I am dreading having another girl, honestly I have no hope of a boy. It would be nice for Flyboy to have a son, but he is so bonded to his girls I really don't think it would matter. Monkey is already a mini-me so I know that I am looking at teenage hell, I wasn't a 'bad' kid but I was very Katie Kaboom. I would throw fits and cry for no reason, then 10 min later I was fine. I hated myself then and I am dreading watching my girls go through that part of their lives.
Well this vent is about last night. Flyboy called like 3 times yesterday and I missed his call every time. So when I got back from Supermoms (we went there for Empanada's YUM!!) and got all the girls in bed I gave him a quick call. I started to bitch about Comcast (we have had nothing but issues with them and are both pissed that we cannot get Directv here because of some big ass pines in the backyard). Well he semi cuts me off and goes I am at Mary's (WTF) and I will call ya in about a 1/2 hour or so when I leave. The green eyed hormonal bitch comes out and says fine whatever don't worry about it don't even bother calling me back.
So I go downstairs to call comcast and ask why I don't have a picture for the 3rd time this week! When I am done I cannot help it and call Flyboy. As soon as he answers I get snippy and ask so ya leaving yet? He said yes I was walking out the door. So he asks were you getting pissy with me. Oh I cannot believe he is asking me this. Yes I have known Mary for almost a year now she has been over the house on numerous occasions for study groups. But right now I feel fat and unattractive and lonely (he has been gone like 3 days and I have lost 9 lbs that I really didn't need to lose, I hate hormones!!) So I tell him this and he tells me I have no reason to be pissy hello 14 weeks pregoo with your child here, damn asshole! I trust Erik completely and I am usually not like this so it is strange for me. I am a jealous person but usually I am not a bitch about it. Grrr...
If it is not one thing is it another! I have finally sleep 3 full nights in a row and my appetite is picking back up and my energy level is coming back up. I raked the whole backyard and tidied the house which is a feat I haven't been able to do in weeks. It could be because my parents come today and I am trying to make order of my chaos! I am just happy to be feeling better just not liking the person I am being to Flyboy, the guy is going to be sleeping in the snow in Maine starting tomorrow and will be out there for a full week, but I am sorry he doesn't need to be hanging out with some single girl. At least he did say that Mary said she would've been pissy too if her hubby (not that she has one) told her he was hanging out with some girl, so I at least felt a little better about my green eyed feelings. I still hate being hormonal and am dreading the effects of 5 women in one house, I remember growing up and having 4 women!

Tired

I am so sick of not being able to sleep. It was so nice to go play Bunco last night because by the time I got to Supermoms and grabbed Chubs and headed home I didn't get to bed until after midnight. I still woke up at 6:30 (instead of 4 like it has been all week) and couldn't get back to sleep. Now it is 8 and I feel like I could take a nap, grrr... I am just getting sick of feeling tired ALL the time. Then I am not hungry but I force myself to eat so I have a little extra energy. I know I am not hungry because of all the stress I got going on right now and I am just waiting for my life to calm down and I will be hungry again, but I am really, really sick of not sleeping!

In about 2 weeks life will get better Flyboy will be home from playing POW. no seriously, they are throwing my hubby into the mountains in Maine and telling him to run and hide. When they find him they will be torturing him and doing horrible things to him. Every time I think about it I laugh!! :) I am pretty sadistic. I kept laughing last night when he was telling me that the mountain has 13 Ft of snow already and they are expecting 1-2 more feet this week!! We grew up in Michigan, snow was a way of life, but he hasn't lived in it in 7+ years. So I am hoping his balls get some frostbite and we won't have to worry about that vasectomy after all!! He promised when he gets his after beating physical when he gets back down here he will have them refer him over to urology. All I gotta say it get 'er done!

My vent for the week my dogs are idoits!! So they kept escaping so we installed the electric fence and that solved that problem. Phantom can open regular door knobs. Well now they got shocked they don't go too far!! Well last night I get home they had eaten my $2 Walmart gonna replace as soon as possible blinds off the front window. Great my neighbors are already scared of my dogs now it appears as though I have wild beasts living here! So then I glance over and Phantom is trying to dig out the front gate. I had left them in the locked house. So I get in they have eaten our brand new handle off of the patio door and broke the lock to get outside. Oh I was pissed, that damn handle cost like $20 and yes that is a lot of money to me! Flyboy was pissed when I called him last night. GRRR... stupid damn dogs.
Although Apple Juice had me laughing I was clearing the garage out and the girls were playing out front with some of the neighbor kids. Well one girl came up by the house and the dogs kinda barked and the little girl was obviously scared of them and said that brown and white dogs are yours? And Apple Juice goes yes why you scared? and the little girls goes only of big dogs. So Apple Juice says oh Phantoms big but Reds a little dog! (Red weighs about 80 lbs and is slightly bigger than most labs, he is a little dog though!) Oh I have screwed up my kids!

I need to run over to Supermom's and save her from my other two girls. Jesus knows she doesn't need 6 kids and a pissy husband!

Boxes, Boxes Everywhere

We are moved in but no where near unpacked. It is slowly getting done. Flyboy leaves on Sat for 2+ weeks so hopefully we get the furniture where I want it so I am not crazy and try and move it myself!! I just feel drained, no sleep is enough and I every muscle hurts. Oh well hopefully everything gets better quick!!
Other than that I am finally getting to that "normal" stage, not really feeling as sick or as tired as I was, that wonderful second trimester feeling. I swear I feel the baby I wouldn't doubt it with how active it has been on every ultrasound. It is early yet though I am only 12 weeks. It is exciting now but once those toes find my ribs then I won't be so excited!!
The biggest thing is how forgetful I have been I was pretty bad with Chubs but I am down right horrible this time. I can't count the number of times I keep going into a room and cannot think of why I was there. I stop in the middle of the sentence and don't know what I was talking about! It is awful. I am convinced I am going to lose Chubs, I need to put her on a leash so she is attached to me!! Oh well hopefully this too will get better.
Off to unpack 2 more boxes then bed for me!!

Totally copying Ladybug

We have our keys, we are offically homeowners. So scary, there is so much stuff I want to do to the house and we have absolutely no extra money to do work to the house. It will come in time though. For now I am just worried about the few things that 'have' to be fixed. Like the loose banister. Then we will slowly worry about paint and that stuff. I have time to make it look pretty and if nothing else I will have the SRB in October and next years tax return. This year's is going into the bank so I can make it through the year without worrying about bills without touching the credit cards. The last thing I need is to stress about money with a new baby and Flyboy on deployment!! :o)
I am off to bed, what a long day of getting stuff ready for the move and going to the closing. Now we just have to wait until tomorrow evening to start the move so they can get their stuff out! Tomorrow I plan on cleaning then I am having the carpets professionally cleaned on Saturday. Then Sunday will be the BIG move with the uhaul. So hopefully Monday I will have some sense of being in one house or another.

Don't ya hate..

When you and your hubby are on different pages... Flyboy is working mids, we have always loved this shift, I get the bed to myself and I have to stay out of the house all day so he can sleep so I don't feel lazy that I haven't done anything around the house all week. Then he gets to sleep as long as he wants and he will help me catch up on the house in the evening and on the weekends. Too bad this shift is only for a few weeks until he checks out of this command.
Either way I got up at 6am it had been awhile since I got up before the kids. Chubs hasn't slept through the night in over a week. So aside from my 3am potty call and then Phantom barking to let me know he knew I was awake, I slept from 930 on. SO nice I was even ALONE!!
So I am up and switch laundry and making myself some breakfast and Flyboy walks in he is excited because he gets a 4 day work week, but then he sets in about the house. We close TODAY, I am so happy to be done with this constantly faxing crap to our lender. I am just done and so happy at 2pm today we will be home owners. We went for our final we were told the house was empty that the owners moved to Ft Lauderdale, well the owners did. But their daughter and her ghetto boyfriend are still living there. Not ONE thing was packed and the refrig is so full they look like they are in for the long haul. Our realtor tells us that they asked for one more day since we were supposed to close on Friday to get there stuff out. After Flyboy and I go through the WHOLE house and see that there isn't even a BOX in sight we tell our realtor to type up something saying they have to be out by 6pm on Friday. Since we did get a VA loan we cannot technically charge them rent because the loan states owner occupancy at closing. So Flyboy and I get home and decide we will do the move Sunday-Monday. Since the guys get a 4-day it shouldn't be too bad. We call and change when we were having all the stuff turned on (I am not paying the girls electricity and it is just rude to shut off someone's phone). The house is gross not horrible but you can't see out the upstairs windows because they are so dirty and the carpets desperately need help. The girls bedrooms are not as big as I remembered but I should be able to fit what I need to to make 'em work. The paint is DARK downstairs, so I will have to prime before I paint, but we are going to wait on that. Upstairs the room colors are scary electric blue, bright yellow, and nursing home pink for the master!! Flyboy and I decided we will just do a room a month and eventually it will get done.
Either way after actually getting a full nights sleep I was feeling really good about the closing today and how much packing I actually have gotten done since I am only doing about 5 boxes a day!! Flyboy said he has a bad feeling and thinks that they are going to back out now. I told him it isn't possible we are in a legal contract and they have to follow through. And once I get the keys if that girl is still there Saturday morning when I plan on cleaning then I will call the cops and throw her sh#t on the front lawn. Okay I am just done with the whole house thing and between that stress and my crazy hormones I am turning pretty psychotic.
So now that Flyboy changed my whole today is going to be an AWESOME day outlook on life, I am off to get my kids up and off to school. Then tackle Apple Juices room and try and figure out better storage for the toys, garbage bags and off to goodwill looks like a good option!! No I won't be mean to my own kids, at least not today. :o)

I will be off the radar for awhile

We got the house, but I only found out 2 days ago and we close on the 12th so I am moving next weekend. I have been insane with my "twins" I cannot wait for Marge to get discharged. I love her son, but I am done with chasing 2 1 year olds who nap on opposite schedules, so my nap is completely out of the cards. Plus Flyboy can only take other peoples kiddos for about 2 days and he is DONE.
The house is the 3 bed so it will be fun to cram 4 kids into it, hopefully I have another girl and there won't be an issue in a few years. My parents put 8 kids in a 2 bed with a loft (where my 5 brothers slept), so it shouldn't be too bad. Plus we don't plan on staying there longer than 5 years. Just long enough to earn some equity and me to start having an income so we can afford more of a house!!
Well I am off to find boxes and make a few more phone calls and hopefully I can get my pics together so I can scrap tonight, I just need some time away!

As Promised

Here is the longer update. So Apple Juice ended up running a fever of 104 for almost 6 days it finally broke December 22, so we cancelled going up to GA like the original plan. We went to Supermoms on Christmas Eve it is her oldest daughter's birthday on xmas, a true xmas miracle born 6 years ago at 28 weeks! So we celebrated a birthday and enjoyed a dinner of ham. We woke up xmas day and the kids opened their presents, even Chubs got into it it was pretty cute. We then packed the van and headed down to Ft Myers to hang out with my aunt, uncle, grandma and uncles stepmom. My uncle's stepmom didn't realize Apple Juice was a girl and bought her a car, but she was excited about it anyway she is so funny she loves her girly stuff and her cars and planes!! We hung out there for a few days then we left the dogs with my aunt and headed a little further south to see Flyboys aunt who 'winters' down there. We headed to the beach while we were with his aunt! We had tons of fun just hanging out and picking oranges from their trees. We then headed back to my aunts and took her to Busch Gardens as a way of saying thank you for putting up with my dogs (aka horses!). We had a blast there and the firework show was awesome. Then New Years Eve we headed back home tired and definitely vacationed out!! New Years day was awesome the kids woke up and it was xmas all over since they didn't get to play with their presents since we left right away. We spent the day taking down Christmas decorations and talking to family and friends we hadn't talk to on Christmas Day.

So now my whole family knows and we told the girls today. I am 10w5d pregnant. This was so far from planned I have been journaling my feelings instead of blogging them. I have had 4 ultrasounds so far and today I saw the baby kicking and moving all over the place so it looks like I should be past the scary miscarriage phase. It doesn't seem real, Flyboy will be gone on deployment so I will be alone which was my fear when we were trying for Chubs. Not to mention a July baby in Florida doesn't sound like fun. It is all Flyboy's fault for being so wishy-washy on whether he was done. We were careful, but I was careful the night we conceived Apple Juice so I guess God has other plans for me. Monkey is ecstatic and hoping for a boy Apple Juice said we could name the baby Rose, but then asked if she could go to Kathy's (my best friend in San Diego). I guess that is her way of saying she thinks the family was big enough and she is moving out!! I am so torn about this pregnancy that I wasn't sure what I wanted to miscarry or go to term because both options sucked, now that I am going to term I just want the baby to be healthy. I don't think I could deal with a sick newborn and three kids while my husband is gone for 6 months. If I have to I will, I know I can! I am very sad that Flyboy won't meet the baby until the baby is 4-5 months old, but it is a what can I do thing!
I am hardly producing milk but Chubs is not ready to give it up yet I don't think I am yet either. I don't think I want to tandem nurse so I will wean her soon. I guess I got 7+ months to figure everything out!

2005 Year in Review

Borrowed from Ali-Bug, via Java, via Blue

********************************
BEST MEMORY: My Grandma holding Julianna for the first time she was so happy to get to hold a newborn for the first time in a long time!

WORST MEMORY: Getting in the van January 20 and saying goodbye to all of my San Diego friends :(

FAVE SONG OF 2005: Don't really have one

FAVE MOVIE/DVD of 2005: Tie the 40 year old virgin and The longest Yard. I had so much fun seeing these!!

FAVE NEW TV SHOW(s) of 2005: Grey's Antomy and House

FAVE MUSIC CD of 2005: I am a horrible person and only "borrow" all my songs via the internet!!

FAVE BOOK I READ in 2005: The future homemakers of America it is a book about Air Force wives.

FAVE NEW FOOD in 2005: EMPANADAS amongst some other Cuban foods my neighbors have shared!!

MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS in 2005: Finished Calc II with a B after 2 prior attempts. I also survived 5 days in the car across the country with 2 kids 1 newborn 2 dogs and my DAD!!

MY HOPES/WISHES for the NEW YEAR, 2006:
That my family and friends stay happy and healthy all year long! (ditto Ali and Java)
I actually buy a house and know what home ownership is all about!
I survive Erik's deployment
I can pay off some of my debts
I start to eat healthier again (although those Empanadas are not going to help!!)
I can get a workout routine back in my schedule

FAVE NEW WEBSITE of 2005:
MySpace.com I found a bunch of my old friends from high school and stated talking to them again.