Finally...

I got my D@#N W-2 today thank you stupid A#$ post office. I hate the service for the base oh well it is done and the taxes are DONE!! Woohoo. One more thing to mark as done on my long list of crap I have wanted to do and couldn't for some reason or another.
Also Flyboy is flying tonight and won't be home until 4-5am so for some reason this gave me the energy to get all the girls tucked in and then clean my couch, kitchen and wash all the floors and now I just finished the taxes I really didn't want to do that because dial up sucks butt. fortunately I had everything done except for my one W-2 so it wasn't so bad!! I cannot wait to go back to some sort of high speed but I will save a couple bucks for the next few months. I promised Monkey in June we will have some sort of internet that doesn't suck butt!!
I think I have a mild cold which sucks, it could be allergies since my eyes are itching, but I got a sore throat with it. No fever or anything so I will let it run it's coarse. I just need to be all better by next Thursday before I fly. Chubs is finally doing better and is willing to take her meds so she should be fine now. AJ just keeps telling us her ear hurts and she needs some bubble gum meds too!! What a ham. But in all the medicine passing out I forgot Monkey's oh well she did okay. For some reason in Jan she was off 'em and did great but now you miss one day and she is crazy. And it is scary like she climbed the tree with some shears in the rain and when I asked her to get down she didn't have any understanding of why that was dangerous.
She scares me some times. I am really scared with the new baby and Erik being gone, I don't think she would purposely hurt her siblings but she would pick up Chubs from the floor, when she was a newborn, while I was in the potty or something and put her on the edge of the couch and walk away and just forget she had done it. I am so scared with having to chase Chubs that Mikaela will "help" and something bad is going to happen. I really wish I didn't feel that way. Ira our counselor said it is really common amoungst parents and it is normal. It still doesn't make me feel that great. :( I just feel isolated because I almost hate taking her out if I know her meds are going to wear off, but then I feel like a horrible mom that I have her medicated at all. Her grades dropped into the bucket and she was a disruption to the class and was losing friends I had to put her back on at least she is off of any mood stabilizers but I hate giving her ADHD meds. I just don't know what to do anymore. I think I am more having issues because my sis just checked herself out of rehab after almost killing herself by mixing drugs and she was only there 6 days. I know by everything I am doing with Monkey I am helping keep her off that path, but I am just worried and will always be. Have been since the day I found out I was pregnant with each of my kiddoes. Guess that is just being a mom. I hope someday she will be med free and I know she will but it was the hardest decision I made about her life and I just hope it was the right one.